So... I really don't remember what that Looper's movie was about at this point, but in my own definition of a loop and looping...that is definitely what I am in and am doing. The cycle. A cycle in the cycle. Seemingly fucking endless.
So this year I was on the school cycle. Enrolled the same time of year and all..like all the other years. Only thing different is that I lasted a little longer this time. I am gonna speak on this soon. About being a quitter --well why I discontinued school for now...and possibly forever. The information from this school is worth much more than gold.....I just need way more time and discipline.
One loop. One cycle of cycles I am in right now is that damn black hole that's tryna eat me. This circle of damn depression and feeling worthless for various reasons. Would you like to hear? Or are you one of those people who say they do not care? Heartless? Indifferent? Take that shit over THERE? Overwhelmed yourself?
Trying to find outlets to get this shit off me, gimme an ease. It's heavy so I am writing...typing. Not really sure what to say because there are so many thoughts so many.
The way the world is changing I am starting to feel a bit behind and confused. Be careful what you wish for...because the dream was to be in an immersive virtual experience, and to live on digital income. It is all happening so fast I am feeling stuck like a deer in headlights. Seriously. Is there anyone smart who can throw me a line? Just wondering..there is YouTube and all that of course.. just gotta go do the searches.
I wonder if while you read this you wonder, "what the fuck is this girl typing or trying to say? It doesn't make any sense." Hopefully NOT. Hopefully you can keep up with the apparent basic or elementary speech. I only write how I speak right now, and since I am no longer in an official educational institution, I will write however the hell I want with "no rules" Been told i write and speak in riddles....or some just straight up can't comprehend what they are reading and hearing with me.
Anyways.
What bothers me deeply sometimes are the condescending responses and insults people give to others online. They wanna tear you down and apart, tell you how nonsensical and stupid you sound. How they don't wanna hear how you live, they wanna tell you how YOU DON'T matter. Only their opinion is above all.............and blah blah blah blah.. It's fucked up. Nobody really wants a discussion or to come to true understanding, they just want to have shit to say just to say it. To talk just to talk. Totally infuriating shit. Sometimes it makes me question and wonder why the fuck I would want to guide such kinds of people, why would I want to serve them in any way....while they give others no true regard just dismissals..
The world of smoke and mirrors. A lot to be said on that...but there's some food to be made right now. Ima be back later.
