Ok.. so this isn't so consistent. Whatever... but this thought just popped into my head. It's been a very interesting summer. Almost movie like in all ways. So much has changed world wide..drastically. World wide and personally. I'd def gotta say.
So... personally... Shit where to start with that. Alright..how about with a comparison. Last year this time.. i was never alone. It was either me and my daughter. Me, my daughter and my bf at the time.. Or just me and him. ALWAYS. It was very short spurts of time where I'd be alone.. definitely not enough for any self reflection or extensive self realization. A year ago i was totally miserable with someone who didn't really step up to be my partner..as they tirelessly told me they would. All they spoke about was finding a job...but they didn't actually obtain one. How could they? If they spent of the time with me. I was so foolish...I had become his mother. He no longer saw me as his woman. Lol if i ever actually was. Seeing how as he actually trashed me again this year. ..and it looks to be permanently..
But he left me in pieces this time. Have to admit I was so depressed over that miscarriage on Christmas..and then him being so distant, cold....just not available. Damn. That almost killed my soul.
I wanted that baby... it's been 8 years ..and nothing. Until then. I wanted that baby, I wanted his to be able to take care of and love an extension of him in the ways he wasn't. So energetically his line can be ok. If you get what i'm sayin ok...if you don't sorry..you gotta feel this out.
My baby was due 8/14.
Anyways this isn't about that.. It really was just a comparison that turned into a an explanation of the state that i was in for the first few months of the year... Matter of fact. I've been in a deep depression until the last 3 weeks. I can now get through a day and a few days of NOT FUCKING CRYING.
I'm about to throw in a wrench. Um I gotta say.. that major or significant shifting of my emotions started to occur after purchasing my moldavites. To be honest. I am not sure if it's my wishful thinking.. but this lil thing.. along with my lemurian seed crystal pendant.. Interesting.
Yea so personally, this is also been a very supernatural/ paranormal summer. Starting before the moldavite. This shit kicked off when finally a video appeared to me on YouTube that was within my realm of interests. It was about dreams...and the speaker..Bobby Hemmitt. Yup. He kicked this summer off. It was like that video opened up the portals to MY DREAMS, and the ones that occur when i sleep at night. My dreams to access the supernatural. The dreams that i do have at night are very important to me. That is my other place of dwelling, That is a place of information...warnings... and even a vision into the future of the reality we currently reside in while awake.
So..that is just the beginning. I will definitely continue..just waiting to see how the current events will unfold so I can piece it all together and show it to you.
